This blog...

... is on the verge of being labelled vintage webmaterial. Well, not anymore!

Okay, so since exams are coming up, the only logical thing to do would be to get back into the habit of blogging. Obviously.

So, I think I'll talk about a little predicament I am having. I'm practically living my life from inside a glass cage. Sounds weird? Probably. I can visualise it though, where I'm standing inside this circle that's made of thick glass and through it I can see everything in my life: everything I do, have to do, everyone I've ever met...everything. They are all squashed towards the glass, trying to get closer, closer, closer... While I'm not moving at all. I just stand there. Nothing can get to me.

Cutting the metaphor, basically a lot has been happening recently but not a lot has been happening to me. Not directly.

But everyone against that glass is pouring their stories, their angst, their self-centres, basically everything minus themselves - into the other side of the glass. General logic states that I should be drowning, and sometimes I really feel like I am. The part that worries me is that I feel more for other people than I do for myself. It's like the things that happen on the other side of the glass are all completely real. Too real. And everything on my side? Nothing. It's like I'm disconnected from my own life, when all I want is to be on the other side. I don't know. There are things that happen that should hurt me, but don't, and vice versa.

Which probably explains why exams are looming, and all I can do is invent a million things to distract me from studying. The final diagnosis? Eep.

In other news, the window of the downstairs room gets reflected in the window of our nextdoor neighbours' bathroom, and then back to the kitchen window. I have spent a lot of my evening waving like a maniac at my dad and brother. It. Is. Awesome.

Side note: What is it with power imbalances these days? It almost looks like a dynamic where one side puts in all the effort, all the talk, everything, and the other side? Nothing. It's not give and take, it's versus. Not because it works, just because it's easy. And it's everywhere.